solofallop

no.186: the hate of a car seat

31 days of Mia, Day 9

Mia's first trip in the car seat was perfectly uneventful. The nurses at the hospital made sure we had a car seat, checked it off a list and we were on our way home with our newest daughter.

The first few weeks she didn't mind the car seat so much. And then? Well, then she woke up. She realized what a horrible, terrible thing it was to be strapped and buckled into a life-saving contraption.

Oh the crying. The screaming! The wailing! Mia hated anything to do with the car seat, and she sure did tell us about it, at the tip toppiest of her little lungs. As soon as you strapped her in, it started. It continued until we were at our destination and could get her out. Molly would yell, "Make her stop crying!" If only I had the power, Molly. If only.

In March, at 4 months, we decided to switch her from the boat over to the convertible car seat, hoping upon all hopes that she would like it more. Since Molly had two car seats, one in my car and one in Doug's, we took the one out of Doug's car, put it in the van and made it rear-facing for Mia.

The results were mixed. Yes, she liked it more. I think it was because she was sitting up a bit more and could see out the window. But she still cried. I would guess it made it about 50% better?

These days, it's much better. Now she really enjoys looking out the window, and Molly entertains her as well. When we get in the car, and she isn't crying, it's still a surprise. Yesterday in the car on a short trip, Molly said, "Mama, Mia likes the car seat now!" Whew. Thank goodness! Because I can't take all that yelling and screaming.

no.185: a pumping, working mama

31 days of Mia, Day 8.

At 12 weeks, when I went back to work, not only did it mean missing my sweet Mia, it meant I had to pump twice a day to continue to exclusively feed her breast milk. Working and breastfeeding is hard. Pumping is hard. It's a chore that has to be done, and that's all there is to it.

At work, I pump at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. Luckily, I have an office with a door, so I just close the blinds and my door and go on about my business. From start to finish, it takes about 15 minutes. I usually read while I'm pumping, or I answer work email from my iPhone. Between the two pumpings, I get about 12 oz. Those 12 oz. are what I make Mia's bottles with for the next day. I leave her three 4-oz. bottles that she usually takes around 10 a.m., 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. If for some reason I don't get 12 oz. when I pump during the day, I have to pump at night to make up the difference. Thankfully, I rarely have to do that.

One time, this happened and I posted it on Facebook:

Raise your hand if you need a good laugh today! I pumped and forgot to attach the bottles. So I basically pumped into my lap. And down my pants. And into my shoe. And puddled on the floor.

I was so distracted with a work to-do list that was a mile long, that I just totally forgot to attach the bottles (that catches the pumped milk). Since the milk was warm, I didn't notice it dripping on my pants. At the 11-minute mark, when I'm typically almost done, I looked down to see how much milk I pumped. And that's when my face went white and my mouth dropped open. I probably sat like that for about a minute.

What do you do?! First, it was wasted milk. Wasted liquid gold. Thankfully, I have a small frozen supply, so Mia wouldn't go hungry. Second, the mess. Oh the mess! I called a co-worker from my team in, who also breastfed and pumped at work, and the laughter that followed will never be forgotten. One at a time, we called more work friends into my office and laughed and laughed. Since it was late afternoon, I just kept right on working with my wet pants. Stinky, milk-soaked, wet pants. Now before I pump, I almost always hear, "Bottles! Bottles!"

I don't really mind pumping, especially if I have a good book to read. For me, the most dreaded part of pumping is the clean up. Washing bottles and pumping parts is for the birds. When Doug finishes cleaning the kitchen after dinner, I make Mia's bottles for the next day, wash everything and pack my pumping bag to take to work in the morning.

I hate washing bottles and pumping parts. Really, really hate it. It's all dishwasher safe, but I feel like it gets cleaner if I do it. Also, when I put bottles through the dishwasher, I think they taste/smell like dish detergent, so I wash it all by hand. Because it's for Mia. And I figure you can do anything for a year, right?

no.184: sisterly love

31 days of Mia, Day 7.

It was love at first sight. From the moment Molly laid eyes on Mia, she adored her. 

She came to the hospital each day to see us and was very diligent about sanitizing her hands, taking off her shoes, and sitting on the end of my bed with a pillow in her lap so she could hold baby Mia.

Of course, the first few weeks, we had to keep reminding Molly to be gentle and how little babies are fragile. Our house sounded a lot like this (and still does some days):

• Molly, don't poke the baby in the eye.
• Molly, be gentle.
• Molly, don't squeeze her so hard when you hug her.
• Molly, get your hands out of her face.
• Molly, be gentle.
• Molly, be gentle.
• Molly, be careful around the baby.
• Molly, don't yell in the baby's ear.
• Molly, shhhhhh. Not so loud.
• Molly, don't pull on the baby.
• Molly, be gentle. BE GENTLE.

And on and on. She just can't keep her hands off of her!

It only took a few weeks before Mia started to return the love. As much as Molly loves Mia, Mia loves her back just as much. Molly can get Mia to smile, laugh and giggle like no other.

6 months later, Molly is still coo coo pants about her baby sister. She's always kissing her, touching her, hugging her, singing to her, dancing for her and asking to hold her. ALWAYS.

So far, Molly hasn't shown any jealousy toward Mia. She's always quick to go to her aid when she cries, and always makes a plan for someone to take care of the baby. "Ok, Mama. The plan is, you are going to watch Mia, and Daddy is going to play a game with me." She also translates what Mia needs when she's crying. "Mama, your baby needs you. I think you need to feed her. Mama, Mia needs a dry diaper. Mama, I think Mia needs her 15-minute swing nap. Mama, the baby needs her long nap." Such a little mama herself.

Molly also mimics the things we say to Mia. It's adorable! If we're in the car, and Mia starts to get fussy, Molly immediately says, "Shhh, Mia. It's okay. It's okay, little baby. Shhh. We're almost home. Don't cry, sweet baby. Shhh." Kills me every time. That's pretty much exactly what I say to Mia.

I know the days of fighting are just around the corner. I can already hear Molly now, "Make her get out of my room!" But for now, I will enjoy all the love between them. My hope is that although they might not always like each other in the years to come, that they will always love each other.

no.183: phone stack

31 days of Mia, Day 6.

{This in no way is a reflection on you or your family. It’s about me and my family and what works for us.}

The Cooles rolled into the New Year with this resolution: no playing on your phone in the evening until after the kids are in bed. We’ve since taken on the term “phone stack.” During the week, when Doug and I get home from work, our phones go up on the mantle. They don’t come down until Molly and Mia are down for the night.

Why, you ask?

Since both of us work outside the home, we get a very limited amount of time with the kids in the evening. At most, with Mia, we get two hours. With Molly, we get about three. Doug and I were getting into a bad habit of grabbing our phones to check and answer email (me) and play games (Doug). It started bothering me weeks before I finally put my foot down. Let’s just say Doug didn’t love the idea. And he still doesn’t. But, BUT! I can see such a difference in our interactions with each other and the kids.

We aren’t parenting and asking Molly to do things while we’re looking at a screen. When we say, “5 more minutes,” it isn’t extended to 10 or 15 minutes because we have to finish killing zombies with plants or kill pigs with flying birds and lose track of time. We make eye contact and talk more. We interact more by offering to play games (like real board games) or read books or do puzzles. Before phone stack, we didn’t do those things nearly as often.

As with any rule, there are exceptions:

• If the kids are being irresistibly cute, we can grab our phone to take a picture
• We can FaceTime/Skype with family and friends (Because really? If Harry calls you, you're going to answer the phone. You don't want to miss that cuteness.)
• We can use our phones to play music

More than five months into phone stack, we aren’t as diligent about actually putting our phone on the mantle, although we still follow the rule. In the beginning, Molly wasn’t a fan of phone stack either, because she didn’t get to play on our phones nearly as much. She’s fine with it now, and even enforces the rule. If she sees a phone out, she yells, “Phone stack!” It’s cute and annoying at the same time, being busted by the 3 year old.

We don’t enforce the rule on visitors, although you’re welcome to join in if you’re at our house! Our friend Lauren has been over a few times since phone stack was incorporated. She told me, “Dude, phone stack is hard!” But she’s much too nice (and competitive) to not participate! It is hard in the beginning, but like most things, it just becomes a habit, and I don’t even think about it anymore. (I’m sure Doug would beg to differ and still thinks it’s hard.)

Related to phone stack is the fact that I no longer read or play on my phone while nursing Mia. Around 2-3 months, I don’t remember when it happened exactly, I was checking Facebook while feeding Mia. I glanced down at her and she was looking up at me with the sweetest expression. I felt incredibly guilty that this sweet little baby was nursing and trying to make eye contact with her mama, and there I was reading some dumb article or something on my phone.

At that moment, I decided that when I’m nursing her, that’s all I will do. No phone. No television. No Kindle. Just me and Mia, in a quiet room together. Most of the time, I just stare at her and try to memorize all her sweet little features and how she holds onto the edge of my shirt. Or rubs my arm with her sweet little hand. Or wiggles her toes and rubs her feet together. Or how she falls asleep, but still continues to nurse and grin all at the same time. Other times, I close my eyes and just relax. I’m always so very busy, that the 10-15 minutes I get to just stop and be with Mia, it’s nice to just rest. In a few short months, I won’t be nursing her anymore. I choose to spend the remaining time being as connected to her as possible.

Years from now, we won’t remember our high score on a game, or what someone was tweeting. Hopefully we will remember the way Molly cheats at Slapjack by looking at the card first and then flipping it over right next to her where no one else has the chance to slap it. Because that? That is worth putting our phone down for three hours in the evening. For sure.

no.182: mia's weight/height stats

31 days of Mia, Day 5.

Since I didn't keep up with writing about her checkups, here's the fun part of going to checkups! Weight, height, head circumference and bonus picture! And since I have them, I went ahead and threw in other weight checks in the beginning too.

Friday, November 11, 2011 {newborn, my first picture of her in recovery}
W: 8 lbs, 0 oz, H: 20.25 in, Head: 13.75 in

Saturday, November 12, 2011 {1 day old}
W: 7 lbs, 10 oz

 

Sunday, November 13, 2011 {2 days old}
W: 7 lbs, 7 oz

 

Monday, November 14, 2011 {3 days old}
W: 7 lbs, 6 oz

 

Saturday, November 19, 2011 {1 week, 1 day old}
W: 8 lbs, 2 oz

 

Tuesday, November 29, 2011 {2 weeks, 4 days old}
W: 8 lbs, 9 oz

 

Thursday, December 15, 2011 {4 weeks, 6 days old}
W: 9 lbs, 14 oz, H: 22.50 in, Head: 14 in

 

Tuesday, January 17 {2 months}
W: 12 lbs., 5.8 oz, H: 23 in, Head: 14.5 in

 

Tuesday, March 13 {4 months}
W: 14 lbs, 8 oz, H: 24.875 in, Head: 15.25 in

 

Thursday, May 10 {6 months}
W: 16 lbs. 13 oz, H: 25.75 in, Head: 16 in

Want to see it as a chart? Here ya go!

no.181: reflux baby

31 days of Mia, Day 4.

(@15 weeks)

From the beginning, Mia was harder to nurse that Molly ever thought about being. She also didn't sleep as well, and come to find out, this was partly because of reflux. I felt like something was wrong, but I didn't know what it was.

After describing Mia's symptoms to her pediatrician at her 1-month check-up, dr. h. said that she had reflux. She said almost all babies have it, but some are much worse than others. She recommended we put her on Zantac, and said that she would grow out of it eventually (sometime between 4-9 months was typical).

Here are the symptoms she had:

• She used to nurse, and then gulp a lot, like she was trying to keep her milk down by swallowing it again.
• While nursing, she would latch, but then stop and pull away. Latch, pull away, latch, pull away.
• She also had hiccups a lot, deep ones that sounded painful.
• She spit up a lot. A lot. Where there was a Mia, there was a burp cloth.
• She was generally just cranky in the evenings, and I could tell something was bothering her.
• While sleeping at night, laying down flat, she would gulp and wake herself up and cry.
• She had a constant stuffy nose and sounded snotty all the time. (I found out later that this was from spitting up and getting in her nasal passage.)

I was not ready to give my newborn medicine, even if it was a prescribed med. I really, really didn't want to do it, but it was so obvious that she needed it. I trust our pediatrician, and I felt like she wouldn't have suggested it if Mia didn't really need it. After reading about reflux and talking to friends who used meds with their babies, I finally gave in about a week later.

And boy! Was I glad I did. After about 48 hours, I really felt like she was a different baby. I could tell that she was much more comfortable, and when she did sleep (ha!), it was a more sound sleep without all the gulping and gagging. Along with sleeping better, she spit up less, didn't have as many hiccups, etc. The latching and pulling away while nursing stopped immediately.

A few things we did/do:

• Zantac, twice a day, 15 minutes before feeding her
• She slept at an incline in one of these for the first 4.5 months of her life (until she could roll over and it wasn't safe for her to sleep in the pod anymore). Now that she can roll around, she almost always sleeps on her tummy or her side, even though I still position her on her back. (She flips immediately now.)
• After eating, we keep her upright for 20-30 minutes
• We try not to bounce or play much 30-45 minutes after she eats
• Smaller, more frequent meals. Since Mia is breastfed, this was her norm anyway.

She's been on Zantac for about 5 months now. I'm hopeful that we're at the tail end of the meds, and she won't be taking it much longer. She doesn't spit up nearly as much as she used to (although she has her days!). The Zantac doesn't keep her from spitting up, but it keeps it from hurting and burning when she does. Now that she can sit up on her own, and roll to her tummy when she sleeps, it's a million times better.

I'm definitely looking forward to a baby without meds. Definitely.

no.180: a nursing strike

31 days of Mia, Day 3.

Back in February, Mia and I experienced the hardest five days of breastfeeding yet. The whole family was sick with colds and ear infections, and poor little Mia was so snotty she couldn’t even breathe through her nose. Because she couldn't breathe, she couldn't latch well, and she went on a nursing strike.

For five days.

I was a mess. An emotional, exhausted, freaked out mama. When it comes to breastfeeding, I'm a CRAZY person in general, so this just made me even crazier.

Mia wouldn't even pretend to latch. The first couple of times, I offered to nurse her, she refused, and I would pump. No big deal. After the first few times, that's when I started getting nervous.

I talked to my lactation consultant three times in the span of five days. I also talked to our pediatrician once. My LC said first of all, for me to calm down and relax, that nursing strikes are normal, and babies almost always go back to the breast because they love the breast. So for three days or so, I would offer, she would refuse, she would scream, I would cry, I would pump, and she would have a bottle.

On the third day when I went back to work, I pumped and got a total of 1 oz. 1 oz.! The second time I pumped, I got 1 oz. I went home from work with a total of 2 oz., compared to the 12-14 oz. that I typically take home from two pumpings. At that point, I really freaked out. My milk wasn't letting down because I was so upset and stressed out. I called my LC again, and what did she say? RELAX. She told me to picture the baby, picture the baby nursing, drink something hot, try some massage, do something to distract myself while pumping, etc. I had to really concentrate on relaxing. I found that texting friends while pumping usually did the trick. My milk not letting down was the hardest part of the nursing strike by far. Because if I couldn't even pump for her? Well, it was bad.

On the third evening, my LC said that I should give Mia a break and not offer the breast for 24-48 hours. She said she was associating not being able to breathe with nursing, and she needed time to forget that. I have friends who completely disagreed with this and thought that I should always offer each feed. I was so stressed out and felt so rejected, that I decided to go with the LC's advice, and I didn't offer for about 40ish hours. It gave me time to calm down, Mia time to forget that she was being smothered, and mentally for me, that I wasn't being rejected by my newborn constantly.

Throughout the strike, we had A LOT of skin to skin time. As much as possible, I was shirtless/braless, and Mia was just in a diaper. I give her bottles (where I would normally just let Doug or my mom give her a bottle). I also took a few baths with her, which was lots of skin to skin and snuggling and just some quiet time together.

My LC said that the easiest time to get them back on is when they are half sleeping. So, when I felt comfortable, and like maybe she would latch, and it had been about 40 hours since I last offered, I pulled her out of her bassinet in the middle of the night, before she really woke up, and she latched! And she nursed! She just popped right back on like she had never stopped.

I posted this on Facebook on Feb. 23:

I do declare this nursing strike over! Thank you, sweet little baby Jesus!

I was overcome with emotion when she finally nursed. I don’t think I really knew how stressed out I was until it was finally over. Probably for a week or more, I tensed up every time it was time to feed her because I was so afraid she wasn’t going to latch.

I was a few feedings away from having to give her formula, which really scared me and sent my stress level through the roof. To keep myself in check in instances like this, I always ask myself what's the worst thing that could happen? In this case, the worst thing that could happen was she would become formula fed. And really? Formula isn't the devil. It would be okay. I can't tell you how many times I repeated that in my head over the 5 days, "Formula is okay. I'm not a failure. It's okay." Once I started believing it, things got so much better.

Nursing strikes are hard. I am so thankful we successfully made it through it. And afterward? I sent my LC a Starbucks gift card and cute pictures of the girls to thank her for talking me through my craziness. I would have sent her $1 million if I had it.

[Thank goodness for emailing with friends, because without talking to Meghan about this crazy strike, I wouldn't have had nearly as many details looking back on it.]

no.179: Mia's 6-month checkup

31 days of Mia, Day 2.

Mia had her 6-month checkup, and she was the hit of the office! Everyone always says what a sweet baby she is and how cute she is with her chunky thighs. I think she is, but I am definitely biased!

Weight: 16 lbs. 13 oz. (70th percentile)
Height: 25 3/4 inches (70th percentile)
Head Circumference: 16 inches

After the usual questions from dr. h., [are you still breastfeeding (yes), no formula? (no), any solids yet? (no), transferring objects between her hands (yes), sitting up unassisted (yes), rolling over (yes)], she checked her over and declared that she's perfect.

We talked about how she doesn't sleep through the night yet, and how I still nurse her at night when she wakes up. She said, "Do you want her to sleep through the night?" To which I replied, "Yes, but I don't want to let her cry." We both laughed, because our ped knows I'm not going to let a baby cry, and we both know that was her answer if I want her to start sleeping. I'd rather wait it out and nurse her if she wants. I figure she'll start sleeping through the night when she's good and ready. Until then, I'll just nurse her and rock her and drink my allotted amount of coffee in the morning.

She got three vaccinations (two shots, one oral), but took them like a champ. She screamed for about 3 seconds but stopped as soon as picked her up for a cuddle.

Next appointment: 9 months (in conjunction with Molly's 4-year checkup! What?! 4?!)

no.178: Mia is 6 months old!

31 days of Mia, Day 1.

Mia is 6 months old today!

To try to make up for the extreme lack of blogging about her, I am going to TRY to write a blog entry each day for the next month. 6 months is my very favorite age, so it's fitting. In no particular order, I plan to write about breastfeeding, the nursing strike we went through, having a reflux baby on meds, her birthday/my birth experience, how much she hates her car seat, etc.

But today, today!, she is 6 months old, and I can hardly believe it. This time around went even faster than the first time around with Molly. She's such a good babe, and we all enjoy her immensely!

Especially her big sister. Especially.

It's truly amazing how quickly they change in their first year. They go from a crying, floppy 8 lb. newborn, to a chunky, giggling 17 lb. baby in no time flat.

According to the CDC, here's what most babies do at this age, and how Mia stacks up to the competition:

Social and Emotional

• Knows familiar faces and begins to know if someone is a stranger (Yep. She's quick to smile for her family, and slow to warm up to strangers.)
• Likes to play with others, especially parents (Yep. Especially Big Sister.)
• Responds to other people’s emotions and often seems happy (Yep.)
• Likes to look at self in a mirror (Oh yes! She loves that baby in the mirror!)

Language/Communication

• Responds to sounds by making sounds (Yep. I hum to her cheek to cheek, and she hums back. It's the sweetest.)
• Strings vowels together when babbling (“ah,” “eh,” “oh”) and likes taking turns with parent while making sounds (Yep.)
• Responds to own name (Yep. For sure!)
• Makes sounds to show joy and displeasure (Yep!)
• Begins to say consonant sounds (jabbering with “m,” “b”) (Yep. “M”s for sure.)

Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)

• Looks around at things nearby (Yep. She loves sitting in the shopping cart.)
• Brings things to mouth (Good grief, everything!)
• Shows curiosity about things and tries to get things that are out of reach (Yep.)
• Begins to pass things from one hand to the other (Yep.)

Movement/Physical Development

• Rolls over in both directions (front to back, back to front) (Yep! She does laps in her crib at night.)
• Begins to sit without support (Yep. She's a pro.)
• When standing, supports weight on legs and might bounce (Yes! Loves to stand.)
• Rocks back and forth, sometimes crawling backward before moving forward (Yep. She isn't crawling by any means, but she can get around the playroom floor by pushing, scooting and rolling.)

Looks like she checks out pretty well! A genius already. She gets that from her mama.

no.177: So, I had this baby. This sweet, sweet baby.

On November 11, 2011, I went to the hospital early one morning, like 4 a.m. early, looking like this:

And then out came a baby named Mia Eloise looking like this:

Fast forward 6 months, and that sweet baby looks like this:

How guilty do I feel that this sweet baby hasn't had a single blog post the first 6 months of her life? Too much for words. But, alas, I think it's just second baby syndrome. And what can you do except try to do better?